No Easy Way Out

Look at this guy - seems pretty innocent, right? Little does he know that within an hour he'll be in a Kenyan police station.

It all started when I was in the back seat of a car, waiting for a colleague to run in and grab a video cassette. He'd left the engine running, and no sooner was he out of sight then two policemen emerged. After arguing with my other colleague in Swahili, we all piled into the car and headed off to the police station.

The entire way over the cop kept asking, "So what are you saying?" My colleague would respond, "What do you mean, what am I saying? How do I answer what I haven't been asked?" Apparently they were looking for a bribe, probably about 500 Kshs (US$7) each. Considering their salaries are no more than $150 per month, this is not an unusual request.

As my colleague refused by never acknowledging the offer, we found our way into the station. Seeing me, people turned to their neighbors and said something about me but all I caught was mzungu. It was the closest thing to celebrity I've experienced here in Kenya, sending a murmurring wave ahead of me.

Apparently in Kenya you have to post bail for a traffic offense. My colleague posted 5,000 Kshs (US$65) and scheduled his hearing for Monday. And the offense? "Double-parking." He was lucky, though, since another one of his friends was charged five times with, and I quote, "obstruction", "overlapping", "careless driving", "lack of courtesy", and to cap it all off: "driving in a manner likely to annoy".


My failed attempt to take an indiscrete photo inside the station
In the olden days, the rules weren't just funny but potentially deadly. One charge under the Moi Regime was "behaving in a manner likely to suggest ______ " and they'd just fill in the blank. And to even imagine that the President (remember: there's only one in Kenya- all other heads of organizations must use a different title) had been killed, you would be arrested and possibly tortured on charges of treason.

The court system is no longer as dangerous yet still no less cumbersome, with cases backlogged up to 10 years. A police officer's word is usually good enough for your conviction, making a bribe - er, out of court settlement - an attractive alternative. Going to court often demoralizes the accused, exhausting his or her time and resources.

Remarked my colleague: "Justice delayed is justice denied. And if you don't follow the process, you aren't given your rights."